Diablo Cody Loves Me!

Well not really . . . Let me go on the record as saying that "The Diablo" kicks major ass and I'm in total love with her. Not only does she write the coolest shit but she is the smartest person I've NEVER met.

Some time ago I joined a very cool online service called Twitter that allows you to post realtime snippets of useless info online. You can text from your phone or post online a maximum of 140 characters. What this really does is to force you to condense down your thoughts to just the basest of rants. Do you have the need to let everyone know what you're up to at an exact moment in time? Twitter it. You feel like you have to let loose a huge toilet monster? Twitter it.

So what does this have to do with Ms. Cody? Well, Diablo also happens to be on Twitter and she texts stuff all the time and all throughout the day. It's a fascinating insight into the mind and soul of a darkly funny and easygoing woman of talent. It's like having the way too cool friend I never had and always aspired to be. That and the fact that no matter how crappy and mundane my day is I will suddenly get a text message from her that says the most randomly beautiful things.

Some recent Diabloisms include: "How much time must pass since one's last fuck before it's appropriate to say "I really need to get laid?", "Had a few Tecates and smoked a Capri. I am all about the Blanche Devereaux cigarettes these days.", "Overslept. No shower. Had to make do with crackhead pigtails and a gentlemen's wash.", "This American Apparel Deep V-Neck makes me look like a douchebag. A male douchebag.", "I am going to regret the pizza I just ate in the morning, when my entire body feels like a fat sack of pepperoni-scented acid magma."

I know she doesn't read all the people that are following her on Twitter (how can she?), but somehow I felt compelled to answer the questions she posed and commented on her Diabloisms. But imagine how I felt when I got the following text: "Thank you for sticking up for me. It never goes unnoticed. I am always reading, always watching." WOW, I thought that was coolest thing and it came at the absolute perfect time. Was she speaking directly to me or to her legion of fans? It doesn't really matter as I like to think she was thanking me personally. I can dream can't I?

Now, I thought I loved her before but now I'm sure I do. I just want to hang out with her and see that razor sharp wit coming out from those bright red lips. Really I do. And to think I ALMOST had a chance to interview her last year right before Juno exploded. Damn it, the stars must have been out of alignment or something.

Diablo Cody where have you been all my life?

-- Janaki Cedanna

p.s. I will be Twittering from the set of a feature film I'm working on starting May 9th that hopefully will be interesting. We shall see.