Review: Resident Evil:Extinction ( Grade: D-)

First let me go on record by saying that I liked the first two Resident Evil flicks, I have never played the video game and that I think that Milla Jovovich is one of the hottest women I have ever seen. It's that mixture of Ukranian bone structure, a sexy voice and the most beautiful set of eyes to ever grace celluloid.

Okay, so let me further go on the record by saying that this movie sucked big time. Now, before you go all nuts on me let me preface this by saying that I know these types of movies are not known for the strong storyline or Shakespearian acting and that yes, I know they're all based on a video game but COME ON!

This installment (supposedly the last, yeah right) features all the usual elements like a badass Alice played to symbiotic perfection by Milla, steroid fueled zombies, extensive fight scenes and returning characters. So what what wrong? Where should I start?

Let's start with the returning characters. Audience favorites Oded Fehr and Mike Epps reprise their roles as the only two people alive that Alice considers friends. So what happens? Feed them to the zombies of course. Big mistake. The fight scenes? The previous two films had great choreographed fight scenes often in beautiful "Matrix" style slo-mo, this one featured an irritating shaky cam and one second editing style that didn't allow you to hardly see anything. Another big mistake. And what's with the zombies? Does dying somehow give you superhuman strength and lightening fast reflexes? Since when can zombies turn into Spiderman wannabe's? Yet another big mistake. Even with all of that the movie still could have worked but then they decided to throw in extremely bad acting. I mean when ANY of the characters opened their mouths it was incredibly bad that I wished one of those zombie crows would swoop down and rip out their tongues. Even Milla herself spoke like she was reading her lines for the first time. But my biggest gripe was the miscasting of Ali Larter as some kind of leader. Wow, that woman couldn't lead an army of poodles let alone the surviving members of mankind. Horrible! She was so ridiculously miscast and out of her element I laughed (intentionally) every time she was on screen. Director Russell Mulcahy decided to reuse footage from the first film to tell some backstory, like it needed it. What the hell? After seeing that, I wished I had saw the first film instead.

The film also featured strange inconsistencies in the shots like a front shot of Milla with some kind of filter over it that made her look fake and then side shots that you can tell it was her. It made me think that they might have tried to use CG for reshoots. Hmmm. There was some good things in the film like Milla killing everyone in sight with flair and the ending where my fantasy comes true by having multiple Milla's but the best moment was when the movie actually ended.

Fanboys will see it anyway for an almost naked Milla and thousands of zombies but do your self a favor and just watch the first two films instead. Better yet check out Milla in ".45", it's a much better film that actually proves she can act.

Musings Grade: D-

-- Janaki Cedanna

Review: Good Luck Chuck (Grade: C+)

Sometimes I go to a movie without knowing anything about it AT ALL and so I go in with no expectations just wanting to be entertained.

"Good Luck Chuck" is the perfect example of that statement. Sure, I knew that it had Jessica Alba AND Dane Cook in it (two of my least favorite actors) but I had no idea what the story was about nor did I ever hear anything about it. Sometimes that's the way to go.

What I saw was pure sophomoric hi-jinks which reminded me of a slicker "Porky's" but you know what? I laughed my ass off. Sure, Dane Cook is irritating most of the time and his attempt at leading man status was way off but I thought this film was pretty funny, in a raunchy sort of way. The problem was (besides Dane Cook) that the director didn't really know what kind of film he should make. Should it be a rom-com or an outright gross fest? Starting out as an editor, first time director Mark Helfrich couldn't seem to decide what kind of movie he wanted to make so he threw all these elements in together. On some level the recipe worked, especially when a luminously dorky Jessica Alba was on screen and when she wasn't? Well, you can probably guess.

The dumb story revolved Charlie (nobody calls him Chuck, weird . . .) getting a curse put on him by some goth girl when he was a kid that never allowed him to find true love. Later on, the curse expands to every girl that he breaks up with (after sex, of course) marries the next guy. So that's the story, moving on . . .

The revelation here is the aforementioned Jessica Alba. While the rest of the English speaking world has been drooling over her for years, I never thought she was that attractive. I also thought she was a lousy actress. I guess all it took was one movie to change my mind about her, much like I did after seeing Gwyneth Paltrow in "Shallow Hal." Who knew Jessica had a gift for comedy? She seemed so natural in her dorkiness it was downright sexy. I can't imagine another modern actress that could have pulled off such clumsiness and still make it endearing and sexy like she did, well except for Scarlett that is. She should definitely play this type of role again, hell it worked for Drew Barrymore didn't it?

As for Dane Cook? Well, he is not leading man material. Enough said. Dan Fogler also stars as a more profane and over-the-top Jack Black type character (if that's even possible) and does so admirably by giving it his all.

I could tell that this movie was directed by an editor as the timing was always perfect without lingering to much. It also featured arguably one of the best montage sequences ever put on celluloid that has to be seen to be believed. I originally thought that this movie would prove to be a smash simply because of Cook's and Alba's rabid fan base but that didn't happen because people that go see R rated comedy flicks have been spoiled by the more sophisticated R rated flicks of the past few years like "40 Year Old Virgin", "The Wedding Crashers", and "Knocked Up." If this movie had come out before them then it surely would have been a success.

To me this movie was a pleasant diversion feeding my need to turn off my brain and see a funny flick. Rent it when it comes out on DVD and enjoy the stupid fun.

Musings Grade: C+

-- Janaki Cedanna

Review: The Valley of Elah (Grade: B+)

Many people have put their own spin on the films of Paul Haggis. They say he's a "manipulative filmmaker" and that his "messages" are thinly veiled stereotypes. But I disagree. I like Paul Haggis films, no wait, I really like his films.

More often than not Paul Haggis films try to say something. He doesn't try to make films that appeal to teenage boys with something blowing up every 10 seconds and he doesn't try to cater to the so-called trends of the days, but rather he makes films about open-mindedness and about people struggling with their beliefs.

"In the Valley of Elah" is Haggis's latest film that see the main character strongly believe in something at the beginning and by the end their entire world is turned upside down. The title of the film is taken from the biblical story of David and Goliath and refers to the location where the great battle took place. It's fitting to say that Tommy Lee Jones is David and is fighting against the Goliath that is the U.S Military. Before I go on, many people have also said that they refuse to watch this film, dismissing it as Anti-American propaganda and that it bashes the troops and so on, ad nauseam. But truth is this film is about war and it's effects on the human psyche, the fact that it's about the Iraq war is almost secondary. It can easily be replaced with Vietnam or Word War II.

Tommy Lee Jones plays Hank Deerfield a retired Army intelligence officer whose soldier son has seemingly gone AWOL after returning from his tour of duty in Iraq. Hank doesn't believe it so he decides to investigate for himself. Shortly after he arrives at the base it's discovered his son's been murdered. After the military and local police prove to be incompetent Hank tries to uncover the truth himself. Jones is great in this role and seemingly we've seen him play this character before but Jones shines as a man on a mission and will not let anything get in his way. He teams up with an unlikely ally in the form of local cop Charlize Theron, who again proves that she can act. I was seriously having my doubts about her acting abilities after her last few films, let me tell you. But I digress. I thought that Jones would blow her off the screen but she not only holds her own in their many scenes together, she actually outshines him a few times. Susan Sarandon who plays Jones suffering wife makes great use of her limited screen time and turns in a very moving performance of a mother who lost both her sons to the military. Frances Fisher also pops up (and out) as a topless waitress who gives Hank a clue about his son (yes, you heard that right), brave move on her part that's for sure.

The story itself is full of Haggis subtext and nothing is at seems as Hank slowly finds out the truth about what really happened to his son. By the end you can see the truth in his face and let me just say that the truth is extremely ugly. Coldly shot against the sterile backdrop of military bases and their surrounding small towns, this film reminds us that even our long held and sometimes fanatical beliefs can not only be wrong but they can evolve.

In the end Paul Haggis has written and directed another gripping tale of everyday people facing horrific circumstances. Is it manipulative? Yes it is. But isn't that the job of every filmmaker? Yes, it is. Should you see this film and judge it for yourself? Yes, you definitely should.

Musings Grade: B+

-- Janaki Cedanna

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