Review: Resident Evil:Extinction ( Grade: D-)

First let me go on record by saying that I liked the first two Resident Evil flicks, I have never played the video game and that I think that Milla Jovovich is one of the hottest women I have ever seen. It's that mixture of Ukranian bone structure, a sexy voice and the most beautiful set of eyes to ever grace celluloid.

Okay, so let me further go on the record by saying that this movie sucked big time. Now, before you go all nuts on me let me preface this by saying that I know these types of movies are not known for the strong storyline or Shakespearian acting and that yes, I know they're all based on a video game but COME ON!

This installment (supposedly the last, yeah right) features all the usual elements like a badass Alice played to symbiotic perfection by Milla, steroid fueled zombies, extensive fight scenes and returning characters. So what what wrong? Where should I start?

Let's start with the returning characters. Audience favorites Oded Fehr and Mike Epps reprise their roles as the only two people alive that Alice considers friends. So what happens? Feed them to the zombies of course. Big mistake. The fight scenes? The previous two films had great choreographed fight scenes often in beautiful "Matrix" style slo-mo, this one featured an irritating shaky cam and one second editing style that didn't allow you to hardly see anything. Another big mistake. And what's with the zombies? Does dying somehow give you superhuman strength and lightening fast reflexes? Since when can zombies turn into Spiderman wannabe's? Yet another big mistake. Even with all of that the movie still could have worked but then they decided to throw in extremely bad acting. I mean when ANY of the characters opened their mouths it was incredibly bad that I wished one of those zombie crows would swoop down and rip out their tongues. Even Milla herself spoke like she was reading her lines for the first time. But my biggest gripe was the miscasting of Ali Larter as some kind of leader. Wow, that woman couldn't lead an army of poodles let alone the surviving members of mankind. Horrible! She was so ridiculously miscast and out of her element I laughed (intentionally) every time she was on screen. Director Russell Mulcahy decided to reuse footage from the first film to tell some backstory, like it needed it. What the hell? After seeing that, I wished I had saw the first film instead.

The film also featured strange inconsistencies in the shots like a front shot of Milla with some kind of filter over it that made her look fake and then side shots that you can tell it was her. It made me think that they might have tried to use CG for reshoots. Hmmm. There was some good things in the film like Milla killing everyone in sight with flair and the ending where my fantasy comes true by having multiple Milla's but the best moment was when the movie actually ended.

Fanboys will see it anyway for an almost naked Milla and thousands of zombies but do your self a favor and just watch the first two films instead. Better yet check out Milla in ".45", it's a much better film that actually proves she can act.

Musings Grade: D-

-- Janaki Cedanna