Another Brutal Summer . . .

Just realized it's been three years since my last post. Whoops.

Update: It's still hot in Phoenix!

This is going to be a very interesting summer and I will give another update in 3-4 years. Look for it! Hahaha.

"AT&T iPhone Hell" Kicks Ass!

Gotta love this amazing fake commercial made by this very talented guy named Pat Lee that absolutely slams AT&T and their horrible reception. He beat me to it!

I just came back from a trip to South Africa where the service was better than in certain sections of my own apartment! What the fuck? Do you want to know why it worked better and was extremely clear? It was a different fucking network. Sure, I got molested 50 cents per text message but damn at least the service was clear.

My iPhone 3G has been acting very weird since I returned from SA. I'm experiencing text and VM rushes. That means when I connect and I get all kinds of old texts and VM's all at once. Yep, that happened. But here's the icing on the cake. Yesterday, I found out that I hadn't received a voicemail in two weeks. Two FUCKING weeks. I called my VM from a different phone cause apparently you can't do it from the iPhone (which is totally lame) and I had messages on there that never showed up on the iPhone at all. Nice. I also called my iPhone and surprise, surprise! It never rang. It went straight to VM. No missed call or anything. Damn you all to hell!!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot that when I got my latest bill AT&T had charged me a ton of money for data charges even after I got the international plan. They were cool about it though and reversed the charges immediately. So there is that. I'm not so sure that it makes up for the horribly crappy reception though.

The biggest problem I have right now is that even though I want the new iPhone 3GS really, really bad I cannot and won't sign a new 2 year contract. I just can't. Looking back on my cell phone history, I don't think I have ever thought like that before when it comes to contracts. Rumor has it that Apple will not renew the exclusivity deal with AT&T when it expires next year and if that happens I don't want to be stuck with them, I'll go to Verizon, Sprint or hell, even T-Mobile. AT&T makes a boatload of money by having an exclusive deal with Apple. Too bad they can't make that money by having good service.

When Apple finally ends this deal with AT&T and the iPhone is available on other carriers you will see such a mass exodus it will make your head explode. Just like the scene from "The Ten Commandments" when Charlton Heston led his people across the Red Sea. Unfortunately, AT&T is just as stubborn as Yul Brynner. Watch out or you'll be crushed under the sea!

-- Janaki Cedanna

Why Can't Tina Fey be the VP?

The day before the most important Presidential election since 1960 is here and I want to share my political thoughts. Tina Fey has become even more famous for impersonating Sarah Palin by often repeating verbatim the ignorant responses the real Palin has given. What a sad state of affairs.

This is an extremely scary time in this country after the last 8 years of disaster. I never thought that a black man would ever be President, in fact I always used to say that I thought that this country would vote a woman in before they ever voted for a black man. I suppose this speaks volumes about my own racism but given the events that have unfolded since 2000 and so far this year there is no way I could EVER vote for John McCain or the Republican party.

The campaign run by the Senator from the state I live in has been an absolute disgrace. And what gets me is that given all his fuck ups, lies, corruption and negativity he is only losing by six points. Six fucking points! If Barack Obama had a caucasian name name like, say John Edwards and was white he would be ahead by 30 points in the polls. Hands down. But this post isn't so much about Barack Obama's competence or John McCain's ineptitude as it is about McCain's pick of Sarah Palin as his VP. I know much already has been said about the former "Beauty Queen" but I need to write this for my own sanity.

What the hell is wrong with the American people? Somehow people think the Presidential election is like "American Idol" and some stupid popularity contest. I've spoken to many women that actually have the nerve to say they "like her" and think that she would make a great Vice-President or worse yet, a President. WTF?

I like many other Americans thought that picking Palin was an insult to all women of this country. Did the Republicans ACTUALLY think that they could throw anyone up there with tits and they would automatically capture the Hillary Clinton supporters? Sadly, there is some of that. I've also heard her referred to as a feminist. My God, that is such an insult. She is the farthest away from any type of feminist. She does not support abortion AT ALL, her husband is a secessionist (meaning he thinks that Alaska should break away from the US) and she is a Jesus freak. She has said and firmly believes that the book of Revelations will come true in her lifetime. That is extremely scary.

Many scandals have surfaced since she was picked without any type of background checks or vetting. She has shown to be an extremely corrupt and dangerously ambitious politician that never answers questions, shows no intelligence whatsoever and talks in an extremely irritating way. Everyone saw how she froze like a moose in the headlights in the Katie Couric interview, right? Then there is the matter of "Troopergate" when she had someone fired for NOT firing her ex-brother-in-law. More info has surfaced that showed her going back and amending trip logs (once she was selected) to justify flying her kids all over the country at taxpayer expense, steering certain companies to the lucrative pipeline contract that benefits her friends, the GOP spending $150k on clothes for her during the campaign, paying her makeup artist more than McCain's national security advisor and forcing her 16-year-old daughter to marry the redneck that knocked her up. Am I forgetting anything?

Add to that her rallies are full of hate. She accuses Obama of "palling around with terrorists" and doesn't say anything in response when people shout out, "kill him" or "terrorist", and that's more than offensive, it's sickening. No one seems to call her out on this and I find that extremely disturbing. The McCain campaign smacks of desperation but I would think that anyone with half a brain cell can see through this bullshit. How dare they claim Obama is an elitist when he was raised by a single mother, literally rose above poverty to get good grades and put himself through Harvard by way of loans and scholarships and owns one house and one car. All the while McCain has 9 houses and 13 cars and has said that the "middle class" makes less than 2.5 MILLION a year. They are both so out of touch it's frightening. Wake up America!!

Recently, some Republicans have accused her of going "rogue" and breaking away from McCain's already incoherent policies. Are they better? Nope, they are much worse. She wants to be the face of the Republican party for years to come and is positioning herself in such a way that she won't look bad. But if she's the future than we should all be very scared.

I haven't even mentioned her extreme lack of qualifications yet. Since when did being a mother of five children make you qualified to be President? Since when did being a mayor of a town of 8000 or a new Governor of the most notoriously corrupt state in America make you qualified for anything? In her home town of Wasilla, Alaska there are 45 meth labs, that's in a town of 8000, what the fuck! The very thought that this woman could EVER become President is extremely frightening and I wonder why the people of this country don't rise up in major protest. She is scarier than Cheney by far. I don't think it's so far from the truth to say that some men like her because they want to have sex with her. Are we that shallow? She is so ignorant, she thinks the VP is in charge of the Senate, has no idea what a VP actually does, doesn't know what the 1st Amendment is or even what Bush's policies are. She's a moron, plain and simple.

But perhaps the worst thing to come out of the McCain campaign are those damn speeches all around the country when they BOTH say that the REAL Americans are in small towns. I am extremely offended that they would even imply, let alone say that there are certain sections of the country that are more "American" than others. FUCK THEM. I was born and raised in San Francisco does that mean I'm not an American? How dare they!! We are ALL Americans. If you want to play that game than I firmly believe that people from cities are more capable of making rational and educated decisions than those simple "farm folk" in small towns. The Republicans just like them because they can be easily influenced like sheep. So there.

I am also exasperated by the fact that Republicans play extremely dirty with all their "fingerpointing", name-calling, sarcasm and out-right lies but when the Democrats defend themselves they are accused of those very things. Hell, the Republican party invented those dirty tactics and they fake outrage over everything. They seem to forget that they have been in power for 8 years and look what has happened. The country is almost bankrupt, we are still fighting 2 wars, Wall Street has collapsed and there is no hope in sight. They accuse Obama of being a socialist and try to strike fear into the country when the real scary thought is that they might actually win this election. Are people that fucking stupid? Yes they are. I'm worried about this election and the direction this country is heading. Does that make me un-American or unpatriotic? The GOP thinks that any dissenting opinion or questioning is un-American and unpatriotic and that makes me sick. I love this country but I want it to be better. I want change, I want to travel around the world again and be thankful to be an American. I want us to be respected and happy but more than that I want the American people to care enough to do something about it. This country has been hi-jacked by the religious right and the over-zealotry of the fundamentalists that tell us we only have "family values" if we're Christian.

Nobody seems to have a problem with "fingerpointing" at a criminal trial. I don't see the defense saying "What matters is that we all work together to find a solution". And if a captain takes his ship into a storm by incompetence and/or malfeasance, we expect his fault to be properly assessed. We also want to find out how we got into the storm in the first place, so that we don't do it again. The same goes for our leaders: it is appropriate to look at the situation and question how we got there. If it was because of specific policies and ideological beliefs, then it behooves us to pass judgment on the policies and on the people to advocated them. In criminal law, "fingerpointing" is better referred to as "charging with". And we tend not to be particularly upset when prosecutors do it. It's our right to question and demand a certain level of intelligence for the most important job in the world, is it not?

I don't care about "Joe-six-pack" or "Joe the plumber" or "hockey moms" or any of those other stupidly coined names that are first and foremost fictional characters. That's not me. What about "Jack the professional artist" or just simply me, the single professional filmmaker who struggles everyday to make a better life for himself?

This is why I cast my vote for Barack Obama and I sincerely hope that he gets elected and turns this country around. We have real problems and he's the person who can bring us the change we so desperately need. The people of this country are like children who don't have any idea what's good for them but need a strong and steady hand to teach them instead of someone who runs everything from their "gut." We are so narcissistic in this country to always want someone to be President who's like us. I don't want ANY of our leaders to be like me. I want them to be tolerant, pragmatic, honest and above all intelligent. Is that too much to ask for??

Since we are so fascinated with celebrity in this country why can't Tina Fey be the VP pick instead?

-- Janaki Cedanna

Post Election Addendum:

So, my worries are over. Obama won the Presidency. YAY! McCain might have one his home state (by only a measly 8 points) but in MY election center I'm proud to say he won by a 3-1 margin. Gotta love Mesa. Well, not really. 

As I scan the headlines this past week there is virtually no mention of McCain but there is at least one story about Palin everyday. Come on people let her fade into the collective memory as a novelty item, will ya?

One of the scariest things was that in her first TV interview since her and the old man's landslide defeat was a comment she made about running for Senator. She said and I quote: "I would serve in the Senate if God gave me the opportunity." Do Americans fully realize how close this psycho came to being "a heart-beat away" from the Presidency? I mean is this really the kind of mentally unbalanced person we want running the country? She is someone who has actually said on many occasions that she firmly believes that the Book of Revelations will come true in her lifetime. Wow, I don't even know how to respond to this. Why, oh why do people INSIST on bringing up their stupid made up fairy tales they call religion to EVERY single discussion? I blame Jimmy Carter for this. He's the first President to actually tout his religion to the entire country and look at where we are now. 

When faced with hard decisions or worse, a national disaster our leaders actually say like clockwork, "Let's pray" for them. How about using your fucking brain? While I agree it's important to have faith, misplaced or blind faith is much more dangerous than not having any at all. I'd rather have someone who actually thinks for themselves than someone who waits for some gaseous cloud to give them a "sign" on what they should do. It's pathetic. Just think we could have had another couple of Jesus freaks running this country into the ground for another four years and that scares me more than the Book of Revelations ever could.

Diablo Cody Loves Me!

Well not really . . . Let me go on the record as saying that "The Diablo" kicks major ass and I'm in total love with her. Not only does she write the coolest shit but she is the smartest person I've NEVER met.

Some time ago I joined a very cool online service called Twitter that allows you to post realtime snippets of useless info online. You can text from your phone or post online a maximum of 140 characters. What this really does is to force you to condense down your thoughts to just the basest of rants. Do you have the need to let everyone know what you're up to at an exact moment in time? Twitter it. You feel like you have to let loose a huge toilet monster? Twitter it.

So what does this have to do with Ms. Cody? Well, Diablo also happens to be on Twitter and she texts stuff all the time and all throughout the day. It's a fascinating insight into the mind and soul of a darkly funny and easygoing woman of talent. It's like having the way too cool friend I never had and always aspired to be. That and the fact that no matter how crappy and mundane my day is I will suddenly get a text message from her that says the most randomly beautiful things.

Some recent Diabloisms include: "How much time must pass since one's last fuck before it's appropriate to say "I really need to get laid?", "Had a few Tecates and smoked a Capri. I am all about the Blanche Devereaux cigarettes these days.", "Overslept. No shower. Had to make do with crackhead pigtails and a gentlemen's wash.", "This American Apparel Deep V-Neck makes me look like a douchebag. A male douchebag.", "I am going to regret the pizza I just ate in the morning, when my entire body feels like a fat sack of pepperoni-scented acid magma."

I know she doesn't read all the people that are following her on Twitter (how can she?), but somehow I felt compelled to answer the questions she posed and commented on her Diabloisms. But imagine how I felt when I got the following text: "Thank you for sticking up for me. It never goes unnoticed. I am always reading, always watching." WOW, I thought that was coolest thing and it came at the absolute perfect time. Was she speaking directly to me or to her legion of fans? It doesn't really matter as I like to think she was thanking me personally. I can dream can't I?

Now, I thought I loved her before but now I'm sure I do. I just want to hang out with her and see that razor sharp wit coming out from those bright red lips. Really I do. And to think I ALMOST had a chance to interview her last year right before Juno exploded. Damn it, the stars must have been out of alignment or something.

Diablo Cody where have you been all my life?

-- Janaki Cedanna

p.s. I will be Twittering from the set of a feature film I'm working on starting May 9th that hopefully will be interesting. We shall see.

So What's Janaki Up To?

It's seems like it's been years since I did an all personal happenings edition of "Janaki's Updates." But in reality it's only been one year. I've been so busy covering Entourage, promoting my favorite TV shows and running the film program I just let this part of my life slip badly.

Not that anyone cares or even reads them beyond Jesse (Thanks!), so I thought what the fuck here's an update. So here goes the incoherent ramblings of what's going on in my life.

First off, I made a decision at Christmas that not only was I going to turn my attention to my career but that I was going to live a healthier lifestyle. I know it sounds like a New Year's resolution but let me just say that the timing was total coincidence! I have no idea how many pounds I lost but I did know that I dropped 6 pant sizes since January. Not bad for a slacker, huh?

For those prying minds that need to know, my day job, or as I like to call it, an "all encompassing black hole" is running the production end of the film program at ASU. It's getting tougher every single semester as the film majors (FMP) are increasing but the funds I get stay the same. My job requirements increase by the day and even though I take on two interns per semester I still have way too much to do. I know it sounds like I'm bitching but the truth is this job has opened many doors for me that I would have had to break down all by myself. Coupled with the fact that I had complete say in the equipment and the direction of a brand new program at the largest university in the country, I get to use the equipment free of charge!! It's totally awesome let me tell you. I also officially teach post-production and production classes and get paid extra for it! Faculty Associate sounds pretty good to me.

I also worked a job for a company out of Chicago that does all the corporate stuff for Intel. It was cool cause I good paid real good and got to work with pros out of LA. I also worked as the D.I.T operator (Digital Intermediate Technician) on a FOX Sports Celebrity Golf Tournament.

I put on a Red camera demo in March at my studio and even though not many of our own FMP majors showed up (those bastards), we had people from other film schools show and even had a visiting student from USC come by. It was a great success and that camera absolutely kicks ass.

In April I spent lots of time at the Phoenix Film Festival which was very, very cool. It's so big now and I got to see some great indie films as well as practice my shmoozing techniques with local filmmakers. Funny thing is that I used to better at shmoozing years ago and I have no idea what the hell happened. Somewhere along the line I lost my people skills ability.

Our department put on the 3rd annual ASU film festival and I got to be sit on the jury to pick the winning film with a cash prize of a $1000 bucks. It was such a great festival with standing room only and the quality of the films were head and shoulders of the previous years. I also saw that out of the 20 flicks that were shown at least 15 of them (no exaggeration) I got thanked in the credits. It was a very proud and humbling night for me as I finally got some recognition from the students. Overall, the films were the best the school has put out to date and technically they were pretty good. I was proud of them let me tell you.

The university also sent me to Las Vegas for the NAB show in April and I spent a week there in absolute tech geek heaven. I spent about 5 hours in the Red booth checking out all their new toys, got to see the Cirque Du Soleil Beatles Love show, saw a topless vampire dance revue set to classic rock (pretty amazing), went to the FCP Supermeet, ate like a pig on overpriced food (so much for the lifestyle change) and saw so much new and cool technology my head is still spinning. I had an awesome time up in Vegas, stayed at the Stratosphere and even won $100 bucks. I came back and did a D.P. gig that weekend which I got paid well for. In one calendar week I had two separate stretches where I didn't sleep for 36 hours. I'm too old for that type of shit.

By the way, The Beatles Love show, was the most amazing, awesome and spectacular thing I've ever laid eyes on. I mean WOW, it was impressive. Only in Vegas can you watch that type of show, drink a 32 oz Seven and Seven and eat a bag of popcorn at the same time. It was the bomb.

And probably the greatest thing was that I got hired on as the 1st A.C. and Post-production Supervisor on a feature film that starts filming May 10th. We are on location for two weeks and even though it's a low budget horror film, I convinced the producers to shoot it on the Red camera. VICTORY! It's going to be an amazing time and I fully plan to give set updates on my blog and Twitter. And we got the "Candyman" himself to play the baddie, Tony Todd. Way cool. This is a great opportunity for me and if I do well then this will be the next step in my career expansion.

Somewhere in all of this I found time to shoot a human trafficking PSA for the International Rescue Committee, write/direct/edit an ambitious film trailer for the university, figure out the Red workflow in FCP and clean my apartment for the first time in years! I also bought a satellite radio for my car and got "Yellow Submarine" boxers! Whew, I'm tired just rehashing the condensed version! Oh, you can also click on the "Call Me" box and call me directly free of charge from ANY phone ANYWHERE in the world. How super sweet is that?

My latest obsessions are "Lost", "Battlestar Galactica" "South Park", Twitter, Facebook, The Red Camera, bananas, text messaging and my DVR box.

I think I might expound on some of these items in later blogs, because I can.

-- Janaki Cedanna

p.s. Take the BSG test on the right because this is one of the best shows EVER made and because I would secretly love to be a cylon . . .